Would you wear clothes that others have worn before?

Growing up, there were times when we received hand-downs from other families, and although nothing was said, it felt shameful. It is one of those things your family doesn’t explicitly discuss, but it is palpable in the air.

Now as a mother of a toddler, I often take “preloved” stuff from cousins and friends with older kids, and it doesn’t embarrass me. The act is the same, the only difference is that I don’t really need to borrow it, I choose it. It is similar to how a recruiter treats your CV when they discover you vs when you approach them.

Renting clothing does have similar barriers, the shame of not being able to afford it, and the discomfort of wearing clothes worn by many others. The benefits are that you get access to expensive designer clothes at a fraction of the cost, and it is financially better than buying a dress once and never wearing it again. While sustainability is touted, it is questionable.

But what is the role of clothes? I am certain for our ancestors, standing out in the forest would have meant becoming a meal for a predator. But today clothes have become a way to express ourselves. Possibly the competition for attention is so much, that most of us, need to stand out to be seen, and clothes are one way to get there. And to be seen adds status, it establishes that we are an important part of the tribe and historically that would have increased our chances of survival.

There are other ways to derive status as well. People like Steve Jobs wore the same clothes every day, he didn’t get status from clothes, his status came from intelligence, from knowing. But when we buy a car or a house, we get status from showing.

The “status from knowing” people, they express themselves through other ways, by wearing regular or the same clothes, they signal that they are so comfortable with themselves, that they don’t need fashion to create status. This segment could rent for one-off occasions if the rationalization is sustainability or financial smartness, making them feel like they are intelligent or more evolved than others.

For the “status from showing” crowd, they gain confidence and power when they wear a brand or clothes that make them look good. This segment is likely to borrow more frequently. While their emotional needs are met, they also need some rationalization. In my opinion financial savings don’t work as a benefit, because the people most comfortable with borrowing must be those who don’t really need to borrow. There has to be a greater purpose like sustainability.

Alternatively, instead of clothes, renting accessories like bags and sunglasses where the brand is more obvious and therefore sends out better signals might work better.

Do you know what is the definition of unhappiness?

It is the difference between your expectations and your reality when your expectation far exceeds what’s actually happening. Now, while the above idea has enough use cases in every aspect of your life since I mostly talk about business, let’s look at it from that lens.

At your job, or if you work as a freelancer or entrepreneur. You are compensated based on your performance.

And performance is a function of:

1/ Setting the right expectations
2/ Exceeding those expectations
3/ Communicating your impact to your manager / client

And remember, clients / companies pay not for value, but “perceived value”

Perception management is such an important part of work, and the term, in my view, should not be looked at as an indicator of poor culture or politics, or bootlicking.

We’re not in a perfect world, and managing expectations as well as communicating the value you add is a part of you marketing yourself. I see so many people complaining that they’re sincere workers but others just work their way up through politics and no one sees the value they add.

Sorry, man. Tough luck. That’s an excuse in most cases for you not being able to market yourself. The day you start looking at it as a skill you need to work on rather than blaming it on others’ malice, you begin to act towards it rather than think of yourself as a victim. Would urge you to disagree and show me another point that I could be missing.